What Taxes Await Us?

Historically, a tax was the way in which the inhabitants of a land, village, or kingdom could participate in governance and even earn the right to live behind a wall - which in turn meant security. As a result of war or other upheavals, the state could demand higher tax payments. Since monetary circulation was not popular in ancient times, people paid however they could - through corvée labour, payment in grain, or military service.

Taxes, as the bond between a country's inhabitants and the state, have their justification. And although one often hears that the state gives nothing in return, that is not quite true. Living in a civilised community, you don't need to constantly fight off barbarians lurking in the forest thicket. There is water, electricity, and other utilities. There are roads and the freedom to travel. There are hospitals and schools. Now imagine for a moment if none of that existed. You live in the middle of a forest beside a stream with a large family and children. Until this idyll is interrupted by a bear that emerges from the forest and bites you on the leg. What now? No medicine, no communications. Wild animals and disease are by no means the only enemies. Your neighbours could also turn out to be adversaries - choosing to raid settled camps in the area rather than sow and grow, stealing or forcibly taking food.

That taxes must exist is clear. The question is only what kinds, for what, and how much. In essence, taxes can be divided into two groups:

1. Value and profit earned (VAT, income tax, customs duties);
2. Goods and services that cause long-term harm (alcohol, cigarettes). That is - excise tax.

I will list just a few taxes:

1. Value Added Tax;
2. Income Tax;
3. Social Insurance Tax;
4. Business Risk Tax;
5. Profit Tax;
6. Excise Tax;
7. Land Tax;
8. Real Estate Tax;
9. Environmental Tax;
10. Data Carrier Tax;
11. Customs Duty;
12. Company Car Tax;
13. Road Maintenance Tax;
14. Gambling Tax;
15. Dog Tax;

Now state officials are beginning to ponder how to tax not only what you have, but what you don't have - for example, a childlessness tax. And at this point the imagination starts running wild about what new taxes might be introduced:

1.  Education Tax. Tax those who do not have a higher education. You see, statistically, people with a higher education become unemployed less often. So - a preventive tax.

2. Musical Ear Tax. Tax those who have no musical ear. Rationale - in the event of unemployment, people with a musical ear can become street musicians. So - a preventive tax.

3. Loafer's Tax. Everyone must pay a "downtime" tax. As justification - submit a report to the tax authority with a table of when, what, and at what moment it was done. Vegetating in front of the television is not justifiable. Children under the age of 6 are exempt from paying the tax.

4. Sleep Tax. If Napoleon could sleep 4 hours a night, so can anyone. Only 4 hours are justified. Want to doze longer - go ahead, but pay the tax.

5. Window Tax (i.e. measured by the size of the room's windows). Not a freshly invented tax. According to accounts, it existed in the time of the Tsar. The perks of such a tax:
a) there will be an additional need to burn electricity (which is subject to the electricity tax [1]) or to purchase candles (boosting the local economy);
b) what do two adults do in the dark? - you know yourselves ;)

6. Age Tax. Getting old - your own fault. The more years, the higher the tax.

7. Childlessness Tax. Incidentally, already being discussed in the corridors of the Saeima. Persons with 10 or more children are exempt from the tax, because there will be nothing to collect from such persons - most likely both will be unemployed.

8. Academic Performance Tax. Calculated for all parents for each child who received even one mark lower than a 4 at school. Payable once a year by 1 September.

9. Pram Tax. Manifested as an annual roadworthiness inspection and compulsory civil liability insurance.

10. Illness Tax. A brief illness is taxed - either paid immediately or worked off without compensation. Also calculated in the event of a child's illness.

11. Savings Tax. Applied to any funds not spent during the month. Could also be called a savings tax. Every month all savings are taxed regardless of how much or what savings existed at the start of the month.

12. Existence Tax. All persons are taxed 1,000 lats. Can't figure out how to earn it? - prison! State and municipal employees are exempt. Calculated at double the rate for persons working in a bank or dealing with other financial instruments.

13. Crime Tax. Everyone is assumed to be a criminal a priori. As justification - a GPS chip implanted in the skull and a camera implanted in the eye that records everything. Information must be stored on a data carrier obtained at one's own expense (which is subject to environmental and data carrier taxes).

14. Relatives Tax. A small tax paid by those residents of the country who have no relatives abroad capable of sending money to Latvia (thereby warming the economy).

An important point is not only the application of a tax, but also its collection from persons who do not pay it willingly or are unable to pay. Here one could meet such persons halfway by establishing prisons - labour camps. Let us call them debtors' prisons.

Do the taxes seem absurd? Not at all! For example, in New Zealand in 2003, in order to increase compliance with the Kyoto Protocol, a flatulence tax was being considered. Not even offered here are such taxes as the hat tax, beard tax, and cowardice tax, which have been considered or even introduced over time.

 The goal of this manifesto is - to do, produce, and pass on to future generations as much as possible during one's lifetime. For only thus can the state hope for economic prosperity!

Sources used:

- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taxation_in_Latvia
- http://money.cnn.com/2005/02/18/pf/taxes/strangetaxesupdate/