Insights from the Fire School Seminar "Misunderstood Femininity"

I only noticed this seminar because I had joined a Facebook group's June femininity challenge "30 days in skirts". The seminar took place on Thursday evening at Monika Centrum Hotel and brought together more than 130 listeners in one room. I was slightly surprised by such a large turnout. The audience consisted mainly of girls under 30, though there were also a few women of more mature age.

I spent several days wondering whether I had anything to write about this experience, but ultimately decided that I did. I fully agree with the seminar's speaker, Laura Dennler, who recounted a participant's feedback after one of her seminars - nothing new was said there, but upon arriving home, you realise that a few examples from life and a few insights are genuinely useful.

As the title suggests, the talk was about a woman's nature and femininity - which is not limited to wearing skirts, painted red lips, and high heels. It was also about the long-known truth that a human being, as a biological and psychological creature, combines two primal forces: the beast and the soul.

Photo: jakeolsonstudios.com

The beast's primary function is survival. It constantly demands procreation, defence, and security. The beast within a woman demands choosing a mate in order to survive - not in order to be happy. It is driven by fear, scarcity, and competition.

When two women meet, an instantaneous, almost unconscious assessment of the rival takes place. The question that creeps into a woman's mind: how can I outdo her in looks or bearing? When two men meet, the question produced by the inner beast is: who dominates whom? Or: how do I deal with him?

The soul, meanwhile, is what cares about a happy life. Its defining qualities - love, joy, growth, trust, cooperation, courage. To live a soul-driven life is a choice. The beast always compares, but the soul knows - it knows that sooner or later it will meet the right person; it trusts, it does not check a husband's phone; it does not condemn mistakes and does not demand perfect behaviour or a perfect appearance.

Insights:

• When there is a conflict between the beast and the soul within a woman, the beast always wins.
   
• If the beast within us is unsatisfied, then all good and positive intentions count for nothing.
   
• The perfect woman in us tries to hide the bad qualities - but in reality there are none. There are only needs, and they will find a way to be satisfied whether we want them to or not.
   
• Although a woman's calling since ancient times has been as a gatherer, and a man's as a hunter, today's work and business environment demands that women live a hunter's life. This is neither good nor bad, but for women it is a double burden.
   
• It is wrong to think: if I am successful, I will be happy. It is the other way around - if you are happy, you will be successful.
   
• Always make sure your inner beast is fed - pay attention to your health and body; get enough sleep; eat healthily and above all deliciously; move - dance, exercise, go hiking.
   
• The more often you keep your beast in stress and hunger, the more unpleasant it will be towards you.
   
• Men like strong women, as long as they do not direct their strength against the men themselves or try to change them. The strength to change lies within oneself.
   
• Do things because they feel good to you - and it will turn out that others find them useful too.
   
• A feminine woman is one who does not pretend or act as something she is not, but is able to simply be herself.