Quiz: Can You Forgive?

Questions

1. A stranger on public transport steps on your foot quite painfully. You...

A.  will smile at them with difficulty if they apologise; (4)

B.  will tell them off; (2)

C.  will silently move further away from them; (3)

D.  will do the same back to them. (1)

2. You receive a wedding invitation from a partner who left you a year ago. What will your reaction be?

A. that scoundrel only ever does things to hurt me; (1)

B. what nerve! (2)

C. I'm glad they found the right person; (3)

D. ah, that's just life - some have sorrow, others have happiness. (4)

3. Your biggest enemy from school days comes to you for a job interview. You…

A. try to make them feel comfortable regardless; (3)

B. give them the most terrible job interview they will ever experience in their life; (1)

C. greet them with a big American smile; (2)

D. quietly enjoy yourself when you see them go pale with fear. (4)

4. You accidentally bump into a friend on the street who hasn't been in touch for five years.

A. it's a good opportunity to find out why they acted that way; (2)

B. the main thing is that we've finally met again; (3)

C. I'd rather die than renew a friendship with such a person; (1)

D. five years, really?! I didn't even notice. (4)

5. Your spouse opened and read a letter addressed to you.

A. "Maybe you'll check my pockets too?!" (4)

B. "Of course, it's just a letter, but still…" (3)

C. "Your letters - here! But these - mine!" (2)

D. "I don't know if I'll be able to trust you anymore." (1)

6. Your relative, who has been unemployed for a long time, starts publicly discussing your financial situation.

A. politely but firmly put them in their place; (2)

B. you are ready to explode; (1)

C. console yourself that it's simply envy; (4)

D. feel sympathy for them. (3)

7. In your opinion, it is hardest to forgive when you

A. decide another person's fate; (3)

B. start life on a new page; (2)

C. forget all their sins; (1)

D. shield them from your anger. (4)

8. A person who once hurt you comes to ask for forgiveness. You feel towards them

A. anger; (1)

B. hatred; (4)

C. understanding; (2)

D. sympathy. (3)

9. You find out about the death of your least favourite and most unpleasant teacher in a car accident. You think

A. "There is justice in this world after all!" (4)

B. "I feel sorry for them, whatever kind of person they were…" (3)

C. "I don't envy them up there in heaven." (2)

D. "Serves them right!" (1)

10. To your worst enemy you would like to say

A. "I wish you all the evil you have wished upon me!" (1)

B. "Bear in mind, you will never do anything to me again!" (2)

C. "Deep in my heart I believe you can be different." (3)

D. "If only you knew how much I hate you!" (4)

Results

10–17 Forgive?! Never

18–24 Forgiveness step by step

You move towards forgiveness gradually. When someone offends you, you first take offence, silently heal your wounds, then let your anger out - often expressing it directly to the person who wronged you - and then begin to analyse: why did it happen? what was the reason? Eventually, reaching understanding, you turn over a new page in life with a cool head. Going through this cycle, you forgive others fairly easily and it doesn't burden you in the future; you are not someone who holds a grudge for a long time.

25–31 Nothing to be angry about

It seems that forgiving others is as easy for you as making a phone call. All quarrels seem to pass you by. When asked for forgiveness, you immediately find hundreds of reasons to forgive or even take all the blame upon yourself. You want to believe that all people are fundamentally good, and only circumstances make them scoundrels. Perhaps you're afraid that if you get angry at someone, they will inevitably respond in kind? Those who have wronged you have noticed this fear and use it against you.

32–40 Forgiveness out of duty

On the outside, you always seem to take nothing to heart and to have long since forgiven, but looking deeper, that is not the case at all. You seem to separate your words and actions from your emotions and feelings. Outwardly you forgive, because you believe that is the mark of an intelligent, polite and well-bred person. Inwardly, however, anger accumulates and craves revenge - it can build for years until a suitable moment arrives. Such non-expression of anger and apparent forgiveness allows you to avoid direct conflict and maintain your composure, but it doesn't make things easier.